– Kim R. Smith, Sound District Lay Leader
I planned to go on a trip to Italy over a year ago with friends. I was entering my final year of a 20-year public service run and I was just done emotionally. I needed something to look forward to…to hold on to as the days and issues became more and more difficult.
Italy was the last place on my “bucket list.” It made sense to make the trip of my dreams a reward to my own heart for the last 20 years. It turned out to be a lesson in letting go and living. Strangers became friends. Friends became family and my heart softened to the world again.
After a year or more of just plain nastiness, I had pulled myself in a bit. Closed myself off more than usual. Just before we left for Italy, between my School Board hat and my church hat…I was ready to crawl in a hole and stay there if I am keeping it real. I would rather withdraw than explode becoming everything I try so hard not to become. Crawling in a hole and not dealing with the broken relationships and hurt seemed easier as well. Easy is not what we are called to do though is it?
The shift for my heart began in Venice with recognizing the fragile nature of our earth and the history it holds. It continued as I busted my bike and my rear end in the sand and learned to laugh at myself in a way that hasn’t happened in quite a while. In Rome, my heart was just moved beyond explanation. In Sorrento, learning how the most amazing grapes, olives, and tomatoes grow in soil covered with volcanic ash…reminded me that great things can come from ashes.
Capri was the perfect ending of this letting go and healing phase for me. Capri reminds me of my other favorite place on earth… Santorini, Greece. The Santorini Caldera was created by a disastrous volcano. The result of the destruction is one of the most beautiful places on earth. Capri and Santorini have things in common and those similarities are things that speak to my heart and soul in a way that God knows my unique heart would understand.
On our last day as I stood looking at the famous statue of a girl swinging on the moon, I could almost feel myself in that swing! Casting my heart out over the ocean with eyes on God above. Letting go of what was… all that I couldn’t make right… and looking forward to what lies ahead in this life He has made for me.
My trip to Greece five years ago, allowed me to let go of my mother and see what our family without our matriarch could be moving forward. This trip to Italy in October, allowed me to let go of so much of what felt like scorched earth. My heart was able to recognize that great beauty can grow from the ashes of even the most soul crushing fires of life. I needed the soil of my own life adjusted and God helped me by dusting it with a little ash. I give thanks for my own version of an Italian inspired “soul reset.”
“A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,” Ecclesiastes 3:6
— Kim
You can reach out to Kim Smith, Sound District Lay Leader, by email at k.smith@nccumc.org