The sounds of a long-overdue afternoon rain shower through the screen door had lulled me off to a really glorious nap. Rain dancing on a tin roof sends me to dreamland every time.
A crazed dog clawing at my arm woke me as I realized the thunder was rolling in. No thunder jacket helped. No herbal dog treat remedy calmed the dear. The dog scratched me, clawed the wall, and even tried to climb in a bucket of blankets.
Lord help me! Taking care of this dog during a thunderstorm was worse than trying to soothe ten teething babies at one time. I know she just doesn’t understand what is happening, but my injured arms may not survive the summer with her.
My heart goes out to the poor dog. She loves me, but I am not her person. She has a great place to live here, but it is not her home. Her heart is stressed trying to balance all of the adjustments life has thrown her way…and still behave like a “good girl.”
When I say it that way to myself, I can totally relate! I can’t even count the times I have walked into a meeting from what feels like a tornado in my personal life…trying to hide it all and be a “good girl,” aka professional and focused. Trying to pull it all together…
I don’t think I could count the times I have left one meeting or another wound as tight as a top, only to try and stop spinning before I got home. I signed up for this, not my family. Be a “strong girl,” aka plastic face…shut it off. Also, could be inner voice warnings to not lose my marbles.
Actually, the more I think about how much this sweet dog has to keep it together on any given day, the losing her mind during the occasional thunderstorm doesn’t seem that bad at all.
How often do we walk around holding it together by a thread for the world? We don’t want them to see us cry because that makes us appear weak. We don’t want to lose our tempers because not everyone has grace. But then, like a thunderstorm, something cracks the veneer surface of our existence and it all come pouring out on everyone who happens to be in our path.
After the storm passed, she felt horrible. She came and kissed my arms and cheek over and over again as if to say, “I’m sorry. Thank you for still loving me.” I felt horrible for getting frustrated with her during the storm.
I kept telling her she was alright, and I would always love her. Really, isn’t that what we all want? Someone who will let us fall apart, act like we have lost our minds, behave badly, and still love and forgive us time and time again.
When your storms come, and they will come, and you cannot keep yourself together in the way the world expects, remember your heavenly Father is right there with you and will still love you and forgive you no matter what. The key to his grace and all the humans you want beside you when the clouds part is being humble enough to realize you may have scratched a few hearts during your storm.
— Kim
You can reach out to Kim Smith, Sound District Lay Leader, by email at k.smith@nccumc.org
Article and Image reprinted with permission from Heart of a Warrior-Faith for His Boots on the Ground