Most evenings, my husband and I sit on the backyard patio and watch lightning bugs. Usually our dog Olivia, is right on top of my feet for the light show. One night, she was acting as though I had hurt her feelings. She pouted and gave me the sad eye. She moved away from me and stared at me. Finally, I asked her… as if she could actually answer, “Was it something I said?”
Often as church families, we look around and ask each other where “so and so” has been. We each mention when we saw the person or family last, and we shake our heads wondering why they aren’t with us anymore. We wonder if they liked the Pastor. We consider whether the nursery was available that Sunday. We even ask ourselves what music was offered that week… maybe they like something else…
Rarely do we ask ourselves, “Was it something I said?” Asking that question of ourselves might be uncomfortable. The reality is that most people don’t leave a church because of the Pastor, or the nursery, or even the music. Most leave because they either never connected in meaningful relationships, or those relationships have been damaged… by you guessed it… something someone said.
We can keep saying that people need to develop tougher skin, but I will argue that what we are seeing right now in the world is a sign of people with skin that is a bit too tough. Church should be a safe place for all. People walk in our doors because they are searching for something. We can be the bridge that introduces them to the peace we know through Christ, OR we can be the bridge they cross out of our doors… never to try “church” again. Do we want to be “Disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world” or barriers to the greatest love of all?
This summer whether you are greeting on Sunday morning, at a church council meeting, or volunteering for a mission outreach, use words of encouragement, grace, and love. When your ministries start growing and you start seeing hearts on fire for Christ, smile and think to yourself… maybe… just maybe… “It was something I said.”
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 ESV
If you would like to view past editions of A Message from Kim, follow this link: https://sounddistrictnc.org/category/from-district-lay-leader/
If you would like to connect with Kim please do so through her email, k.smith@nccumc.org