– Kim R. Smith, Sound District Lay Leader
My daughter and her husband came home to visit from Japan for Christmas. They brought all kinds of goodies from the island of Okinawa, including cookies, hand soap, candy, and the most amazing drip coffees. They also brought with them a lesson in life and love for me.
Instead of going overboard with gifts, they have a tradition of giving three things. They give each other something to wear, something to eat, and something to do. At first, I couldn’t imagine how this tradition would unfold, but it was such a beautiful thing to watch and experience.
Each gift was chosen with thought and knowledge of each other. You have to really dig deep to listen and to know each other to choose meaningful gifts in these three categories. As I marveled at what they chose for each other as gifts, I began to weave my own faith into the meanings of the three things.
Something to wear is essential for life. Warmth from the cold…protection from the elements…comfort from the storms. So many of our churches provided clothes to those in need without any knowledge about what made them comfortable other than what size they might wear. We prayed they met a need. For many, it might have been their only warm pair of pajamas or shoes that fit properly. We need clothes. They hide our insecurities and help us walk through this life with dignity.
Eating is something that brings us all together. We cook with love for each other. We plan dinner parties to laugh around tables with one another. Young couples dream about their future across from each other at dinner. Strangers join each other at community dinners as they begin to share their stories with each other. Hearts kneel at the Lord’s table to reset their hearts and draw closer to a life that is Christlike.
Many of us also provided essential food for families during Advent. We stocked our food pantries and blessing boxes. We provided Christmas dinners for families and collected food with reverse Advent calendars. We hosted dinners for those in need and for each other. Our social beings revolve around one table or another.
The third gift of something to do moved me to tears as I considered all the possibilities. It wasn’t meant to be something that they necessarily wanted to do together. The idea was to give that person something you knew they loved to do in their own lives. You have to know people to give that third gift successfully.
In the new year, I am going to try and set my goals on relating to people with these three things in mind. I will dig deep enough to know what they love to eat and why they love it. I love butter beans because I have fond memories of picking them from my grandmother’s garden, shelling them on her back porch as the summer rain poured, and then cooking them with her as we talked about life.
I will commit to sharing meals with people I already know but want to know more, as well as people who I barely know. Two hearts having coffee or lunch and sharing our lives once a week.
For something to wear, I will try to understand what makes people tick. Why does someone react so badly in certain situations and wear their anger? Why does another feel so unworthy to even walk through the doors of the church, wearing their insecurities? Why has someone lost all of their self-confidence? My goal will be to invite them to walk along with me on this ever-evolving faith walk so they can wear the peace and confidence a life with Christ offers.
The goal of something to do will be quite a challenge. When you surround yourselves with women, though, you discover that a lot of them are not doing what they want at all. They are doing what their children want to do, what society expects them to do, and what they have to do. I can’t even count the number of times I have looked a woman in the eyes and asked, “What did you love to do before you were a wife and mother?” Only to be met with a blank stare, a pause, and a hesitant, almost embarrassed…’I can’t remember.” With this goal, I hope to go exploring with people because I believe God gives us gifts that we sometimes bury under the burdens of this temporary life.
Three things. Three things that seem so simple and yet have such deep, complex, and powerful implications if you take the mission to heart. Serving as the hands and feet of Christ is more than checking boxes or meeting giving goals. Serving the way he served calls for being upfront and personal in our efforts to bring people to a life with Christ. Serving is about THEM, not US, and that requires changing the approach at times.
My gift was a wonderful drip coffee filter shaped like Mt. Fuji. Each time I prepare a cup of coffee, I will see the face of my daughter as she reached the top of that mountain at sunrise. I will be surrounded by the aroma and the taste of my coffee as I am wrapped in the warm embrace of my child. Three in one.