Why are we so enamored of this idea of perfection? We can blame the English translation of Matthew 5:48 for at least part of our obsession of perfection. Someone seemed to think it was a good idea to translate this verse thusly: “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Talk about raising the bar to a dizzying height! If that were what we were aiming for, none of us could make it! The good news is, though, that’s not really what Jesus said at all.
The Greek word translated as “perfect” is telios. Telios does not mean perfection, at least not in the way we think of perfection today. Telios means completion or fullness. Jesus is inviting us to a journey that will lead us to becoming fully who we were created to be – a people called to love. Just as God loves everyone – the good and the bad (and, yes, Jesus says that is true) – so we are called to love everyone. We may not have warm fuzzy feelings for everyone, but we are called to treat others in loving ways – even if we don’t especially like them.
So, back to this thing about perfection. Too many of us aim for perfection in too many areas of life. We want to make perfect grades. We want to perform our work perfectly – no mistakes allowed. We want to do everything we do without a hiccup. And that simply isn’t possible! It’s not supposed to be possible. God created us to be imperfect, to mess up, so we can try again, so we can learn to do better, so we always have a reason to keep moving forward. I believe that God smiles on us when we mess up. Then, if we are paying attention, we will feel God pick us up, brush us off, and say, “Now, go try again.”
God is not surprised by our mistakes. God is not angry when we mess up. God does not expect perfection in the way we think of perfection. God simply wants us to try our best, to enjoy the work, and to admit when we mess up so we can learn to do better.
I have a feeling that I’ve written on this subject before in this column, but it is such an important message for us today, especially for our youth and young adults. They are under such pressure coming from every side, and this is one more thing being placed upon them. We have seen this in the story of Katie Meyer, the Stanford soccer player who died by suicide after the school threatened to expel her for what was, admittedly, an unloving act, yet which could have been handled with a lot more grace and a lot less threat. We have seen it in the rising level of anxiety in our youth as they face high expectations in academia, sports, and extracurricular activities to qualify for their preferred schools. We see it in young children who are already dealing with challenges due to school closings during COVID.
We need to receive the grace of imperfection if we are ever going to experience the joyful, abundant life God desires for us. We need to be gentle with ourselves and with others. We need to celebrate the small steps we make toward becoming more fully human as God designed humans to be. We also need to learn to laugh at the mistakes along the way or, if the mistake is a big one, to admit we’ve messed up, ask forgiveness, and then release our guilt so we can move on to the lesson our mistake has to teach us.
Mistakes and mess ups can be the greatest gifts in our lives if only we will receive them as such. They should not cause us shame. They are not meant to create anxiety in us. They are gifts from God given to help us learn, grow, and become who God created us to be one little step at a time.
And so, I say to you, relax! Enjoy the effort. Learn from the mistakes and let them go. Smile through it all and know that, no matter what, you are a beloved child of God! Find the grace in your imperfections and know that they are simply a part of life as life is meant to be.
This is my last Grace for the Journey article. Thank you for allowing me to speak into your faith journeys for these past two years. Know that the grace continues. I hope that you will continue to look for it in all aspects of life, even the hard ones. Again, I say, You are a beloved child of God! Celebrate that fact and live into it.
Yours in Christ,
Joyce Day
St. James UMC, Greenville