– Kim R. Smith, Sound District Lay Leader
This past week I ended a twenty-year tenure with the school board. I also watched the denomination I love splinter. Letting go of things is often difficult especially when they are things that we seriously love and are passionate about in our lives.
The strange thing is, I am not sad about either change. Don’t misunderstand me, I am incredibly heartbroken about the way some things happened over the past year with both changes looming. People either rise with love during transitional moments or they fall to our human frailties. I have sadness about missed opportunities with both changes.
Hope and excitement are what fill my heart though if I am being honest. I am tired of fighting battles that are not mine to fight because God is right in the middle of it all. My heart is ready to share a life that has been changed over the past year to eighteen months by the battles in the board room and within our denomination. The battles have strengthened my faith in unexpected ways. They have shown me the kind of leader and Christian I want to be in my life by helping me live through examples of what I could never be… even if I tried. God is in me.
My youngest daughter sent me this silly looking bobblehead doll as a way of telling me she has faith in me to keep fighting the good fight on all fronts. It sits by my desktop with a nail to remind me of the sacrifice made for me by Christ. A cross that I have wrapped my fingers around so tightly and so many times, it is losing it’s shine and color in spots is there too. The cross sits by a rock to remind me that with God, I am strong. There is a small candle that I “light” when I write, to help me settle and invite love into my words.
Over on the side there is a stress ball that reminds me it’s okay to have faith and a therapist, because life is HARD at times. We all need help to work through the trauma that can keep us from becoming who Christ intends for us to be in this life. In the middle of it all is this bobblehead that reminds me, people are watching me always and as Adam Hamilton says, “I might be the only Bible they ever see.”
There is great hope that comes with being able to end the battles and just move forward! God has filled me with a renewed excitement for the ways he has already begun to use my heart for all the things I have always been passionate about, in NEW ways!
Today, consider the possibilities of a renewed heart! Imagine the limitless opportunities of new excitement and directions! Give thanks for a creative God who will continue to use our hearts beyond anything any of us can imagine. Buckle up with me and let’s see where God takes this new thing as we all learn to live differently instead of fight differently.
You can reach out to Kim Smith, Sound District Lay Leader, by email at k.smith@nccumc.org