When we read the story of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:1-16), we may not see much grace, at least at first glance. The question always arises: Why did God accept Abel’s offering and not Cain’s? No reason is given. God’s actions may seem arbitrary. Consider, however, Cain’s overall behavior. As the story goes along, we see that Cain is self-centered, petulant, and mean. These behaviors surely didn’t arise only after God refused to accept his sacrifice. That makes me wonder: Was God’s refusal of Cain’s sacrifice an effort to teach Cain how to accept failure?
Failure is an ugly word for many of us. We see failure as a blight on our record, as something to be avoided at all costs. When we are self-centered, petulant, and mean (like Cain), failure can send us over the edge. We look for ways to get our revenge on others who succeed where we have failed. Others with other unhealthy attitudes and coping strategies react in other equally unhealthy ways. We may beat ourselves up mentally, telling ourselves that we are worthless and stupid. We may stop trying anything new so as to avoid future failures. Regardless of how we respond negatively to failure, the bottom line is that only success is acceptable.
Yet, failure is a fact of life. Not only is it a fact of life, it is a necessity of life! We often learn best through our failures. Richard Rohr writes, “We are not helping our children by always preventing them from what might be necessary falling, because you learn how to recover from falling by falling!… People who have never allowed themselves to fall are actually off balance, while not realizing it at all.”[1] Or for those of you who prefer to get your life’s philosophy from comic superheroes (and there’s nothing wrong with that!), you may remember what little Bruce Wayne’s father said to him after rescuing him from the well into which he had fallen: “And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”[2]
By allowing Cain to fail, God may have been trying to teach him a valuable, even essential, life lesson. Obviously, it didn’t take. Even though God warns Cain that sin is lurking at the door of his heart seeking to entrap him, Cain continues his unhealthy way of being and acting and kills his brother. God’s grace could have ended right there. After all, murder is a horrific sin. The Scriptures even call for the death penalty for a murderer. Yet God refuses to give up on Cain. Just as God did with Adam and Eve, God chose to discipline Cain by sending him out into “the real world” where he would need to learn to survive under harsh circumstances.
When Cain complains that God’s discipline is so harsh that he will not be able to survive it because others will seek to kill him, God sets up protective boundaries around Cain. Anyone who kills Cain will be disciplined even more severely than Cain was. Eventually, Cain settles into a new home, marries, and has children. God’s grace has allowed him to start a new life – one in which (or at least we hope) he lived better because of the hard lessons he learned from his past failures.
I find verse 16 especially interesting: “Cain left the Lord’s presence, and he settled down in the land of Nod, east of Eden.” Cain may have left God’s presence, but I get the feeling God never left Cain. After all, God had to keep an eye on Cain to make sure God’s promise to keep him safe was fulfilled!
This story raises a difficult question for us: How do we treat people who have failed? Do we scorn them? Ostracize them? Ridicule them? Or, worse, kill them? Many Christians use certain Bible passages to defend the death penalty, yet God did not impose the death penalty, not on Adam and Eve and not on Cain. These are just two Bible stories where God’s mercy is offered as a gift of grace to humans who committed seriously bad (even evil) behaviors. Are we not called to imitate God? Let us, too, then, offer mercy and compassion even in those times when we need to discipline others. Let us learn to value failure and the lessons we learn from it. We may just discover the joy of watching more and more of God’s children go on to live productive and better lives.
Rev. Joyce Day
[1] Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, p. 28.
[2] From Batman Begins.
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