– Kim R. Smith, Sound District Lay Leader
As I walked up to the entrance of a church that has served the community of Greenville since the 1700s, a young mother and her daughter joined me. Together, we talked about the cold temperatures and the beauty of Jarvis Memorial United Methodist Church. There was no mention of the reason we were all there that day. That might have been uncomfortable.
A sign that read You belong here greeted us as three strangers stepped into the space together. Each bringing our own hopes, fears, and questions of faith, love, and humanity. We found our seats and waited for the documentary to begin. I wasn’t prepared.
Teen after teen who had struggled with their sexuality spoke of wanting to end their own lives. It wasn’t the internal struggle that made them feel hopeless; it was the cruelty of others that made them unsafe, unaccepted, and unloved. Statistic after statistic from The Trevor Project flashed on the screen, showing the alarming facts regarding thoughts of suicide, attempted suicides, and the difference one loving person who just accepted them as they are…could change that trajectory of isolation and hopelessness.
Story after story ripped at my heart. I came undone listening to a young man who was active in his youth group, who loved his church family and Jesus… tell how he was told to leave… via Zoom. I quite literally choked back sobs, trying to rationalize cruelty and abandonment in the name of love… in the name of the Christ I know.
The video ended, and the room gathered for a panel discussion. Rev. Donald Warren, the lead Pastor of Jarvis Memorial UMC, was asked where the church fit into this difficult discussion. “Churches are good at demonizing people out of fear. My hope for Jarvis Memorial is that we will be a place of hope and healing. I have watched this documentary twice, and it gets more difficult each time. For me, I know I need to be intentionally affirming. My hope is the LGBTQ community will find a spiritual home that will love them unconditionally.”
My careful and cautious brain was thinking about how risky this act of love was for the congregation of Jarvis Memorial UMC. My heart was so overwhelmed by their bravery and willingness to bring people together to try and understand, to ask questions, and to learn to simply love each other. Who would have thought love would become the riskiest action of all?
Cheryl Stephenson, the Music Director with Jarvis, who is also a Music Therapist, added to the conversation around the role of churches and this disenfranchised community of people. She said, “We have to do better. We can’t allow anyone to think they are not valuable. All faiths believe in the value of living and the value of their soul. I hope in the Bible Belt of the USA to open those doors and allow everyone to be welcome here. Condemnation is not ok in my space.”
A woman who identified herself as a lifelong Methodist spoke through tears. “Church has always been relational and communal for me. It has always been my home. It breaks my heart to know we haven’t been that for everyone.”
My eyes glanced at the mother, who was now holding the hand of her child so tightly her fingers had lost their color, as Cheryl Stephenson spoke. “We all enter the doors of this church as sinners. We all enter at that same level.” Me… a District Lay Leader and sinner, this mother who clearly loved her daughter and her child… we all entered this space as imperfect humans seeking love and acceptance.
Many questions were asked in sincere efforts to simply understand. One woman asked how to be brave enough to accept and affirm others when the environment has become so polarized and hostile. She feared speaking out and showing her acceptance of the LGBTQ community might come at the price of her job. Two rows back, a woman with a cabinet-level position in a surrounding school district spoke and said, “I would risk my job to be that safe place if it meant saving the life of even one child.” Would you? Could you?
This risky growth opportunity was suggested by Associate Pastor Kuda Kagura and church member Kat Colardo, who is a clinical social worker. Together, they approached Breanna Culler, a Suicide Prevention Coordinator, to bring the program to their church and community.
“You Belong Here” is a documentary made possible by funding from the NC DHHS Comprehensive Suicide Grant, Pitt County Students Against Destructive Decisions, and from a collaborative partnership with LA Flecha Film Company, ECU Medical Center, The Dr. Jesse Peele LGBTQ Center at East Carolina University, the Pitt County ABC Board, and Pitt Partners for Health. The program is free to any community interested.
It says a lot about the state of our world to consider learning about each other and learning to love and accept one another as a risky act of love. Yet, when I consider the life of Jesus Christ, the biggest risk he EVER took was loving us in our imperfect human brokenness.
“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” 1 Chronicles 16:34